Stupidest theory contest

[randomgirl666.livejournal.com]

Hello! So by now, hopefully, everyone has seen the mid-season finale. I thought the mid-season hiatus might be a good time to have a little competition. Allow me to present the DOCTOR WHO SERIES 6 MID-SEASON STUPID THEORY CONTEST.

There are no real prizes in this contest, just to be clear. It's all about honour and stuff.

No doubt by now you have all read multiple theories about just WTF is going on (whether it's about a certain character or a certain explosion or whatever). I challenge you all to come up with the STUPIDEST theory possible as to what is going on. The winner receives the hard-won respect of myself and anyone else who feels like showing respect.

Comments

[rabiya-al-basri.livejournal.com]

Eyepatch Lady was in league with House and able to scratch up a TARDIS from scraps at the planet, plus a soul that House agreed to give her instead of eating in exchange for getting revenge on the Doctor. She resurrects the Master again, who teaches River how to fly the TARDIS before Eyepatch Lady strands him back on the planet from Utopia in s3. She teaches River to obsess over the Doctor, and to kill him.

The doctor, now knowing his eventual fate, stops trying to find and save River because he knows she has to be trained to kill him. But he only resigns himself to actually dying after running for 200 years, after which he sends out the invitations, and goes to be killed by River. 11 dies for realz, but tween River Song, in her grief over having killed him, takes up his name and legacy to be crowned the 12th Doctor for the 7th series. But! She's then killed by Eyepatch Lady and regenerates into a new form (that isn't yet the River who dies in s4/has been guest starring in s5 & 6). Through time-travel hijinx, River-River ends up occupying the same time stream as Doctor-River, and their whole relationship foreshadowed in s4+ is actually mostly between River and herself.

Hey, you wanted a stupid theory!

[randomgirl666.livejournal.com]

"their whole relationship foreshadowed in s4+ is actually mostly between River and herself."

This bit is not so much "stupid" as "brilliant."

[rabiya-al-basri.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks! ...Sometimes it's a pretty fine line. :)